Many relationships that end up in couples therapy are there because one or both partners feel that they’ve lost their connection. They may care about each other, but no longer feel any attraction. They may love each other but not be “in love.” But if you feel like you’ve lost that connection, you can still get it back. By actively strengthening and deepening your connection with each other, you can rediscover that love. Here are several ways you might try to do that:
Stay in Contact
When we think about staying in contact, we usually think of friends and family who live far away that we don’t see very often, not people like our partners who we see on a regular basis. But just because you see your partner on a regular basis, doesn’t mean that you’re staying connected with them. Taking the time to contact your significant other during the day while you are apart can help keep your relationship at the forefront of your mind and let your partner know how much you care about them.
Be Together and Be Present
Being in the same room but being on separate tech devices doesn’t really count as being together. When the time you spend together is focused on social media or other things, it doesn’t do anything to strengthen your relationship. Make an effort to set aside time together that is free from outside distractions and fully focused on each other.
Learn More About Each Other
You may think you know everything there is to know about your partner, but that probably isn’t true. Getting to know each other better can help your relationship stay fresh. There are several resources for in-depth discovery including conversation starters, quiz books and games that can help you get the conversation flowing.
Walk Down Memory Lane
Sometimes it can be valuable to sit down with your partner and reminisce about fond memories. You can go back and retrace the steps that brought you together and see how far you’ve come and what you’ve enjoyed doing together. It can also be meaningful to go over some of the more negative moments in your journey to discuss how you overcame them and how you feel about them in hindsight.
Make a Bucket List
Make a list of all the things you’d like to do together but just never seem to get around to. Thinking of all the fun things you could do together can help you get excited about your relationship again and writing these things down will make it more likely that you’ll actually do them.
Get Away From Routine
Often, we can get into a comfortable routine in our relationships, which can lead to things getting stale. Try to be creative and think of ways to get out of your routine and try new things together. Trying new experiences can help you make new and powerful memories. Some ideas might include trying a new restaurant, staying at a bed-and-breakfast, going to a museum, seeing a play, or going to an arcade.
Play Games Together
Games aren’t just for kids or for families – they can be enjoyed in any setting with any group of people and they can be a great way of bonding. There are even games dedicated specifically to creating therapeutic experiences for couples, such as Couples Retreat, and games for self-improvement like Better Me.